If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize