omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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