I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just google imaged poop.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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