I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
