Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Congratulations! We have a period
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