it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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