Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
