Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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