Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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