So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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