just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
