Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
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the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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