Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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