i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
