p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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