why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
