dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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