with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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