i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
