Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
