It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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