Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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