We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
