You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
