think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
