Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
