How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
