You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
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My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
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It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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