dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
