and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
