i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
