I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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