you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize