just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
