I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You're my little dorito
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
