You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I didn't notice because vodka
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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