I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
