I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
