I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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