how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
