I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
