I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
we're so committed to being not committed
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
