May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just pee around me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
