when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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