you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I need to align my fucking chakras
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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