He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize