How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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