Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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