im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
we should paint friendship bongs
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