don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
