my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
