Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
