Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
