There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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