True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize