I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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