jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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