maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
