The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Barsexuality is the new black.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
