porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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