last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
