you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
