ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
