My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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