I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
