You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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